


Some Days

by kirschhhstein



Series: Some Days [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-11
Updated: 2014-01-11
Packaged: 2018-01-08 04:11:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1128179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kirschhhstein/pseuds/kirschhhstein
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"It's kind of like... well, when I think of Ma and Mikasa and Pops and how much I love them my heart goes all slow and I feel calm and warm, you know?  Sometimes it's like that with you too but other times when I think about you my heart starts going really fast and I feel warm but like... uncomfortable warm?  And I think about you a lot.  I think about how nice you smell and how soft and pretty your hair is and it just makes my head go fuzzy.  It's kind of scary how it feels but I like it and was sorta hoping you'd... be like that too.  About me."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Some Days

**Author's Note:**

> this is what happens when i've been neglecting eremin for jearmin and my conscience won't let me sleep

"Oi!"

That's how it begins.

"What the hell do you bastards think you're doing?!"

It isn't exactly the voice of an angel but it's closer than anything else you've heard in your brief life.

You look up from where you lay in a crumpled heap on the ground. The older boys who had beaten and kicked you until you fell look up too. They sneer at the scrawny figure standing at the top of the alleyway, jeering and swearing and gesturing all sorts of vulgar things you don't want to hear.

Then you watch in shock as the figure (a boy?) charges down the alleyway and collides with the others. He fights and kicks and yells but the bigger ones knock him down again and again. You cry for him, even though you are sore and miserable yourself, you cry as he keeps on getting up.

When the others finally grow bored and leave, you crawl over to the boy who lies gasping on his back.

"Bastards," he pants. "I'll get them next time."

He turns his head and sees the tear stains on your cheek.

"Don't cry for me, stupid. I'm fine."

"You shouldn't have done that!" You cry harder. "Now they'll start picking on you if they see you again!"

"I'd like to see them try," his chest heaves and he sits up with a cough, blood dribbling down his chin. "Hey, how do I look? My ma's gonna kill me for fighting again. Do you think she'll be able to tell?"

You take in his appearance. His bloody fists. The cut above his eye. The purple bruise already forming on his jaw. His green eyes gleaming with excitement. You've never seen such an intense gaze.

You tell him that she might notice and he curses when he stands, swaying ever so slightly. You sniffle and apologise, promising to tell the boy's ma that it wasn't his fault.

"Yeah, you'd better. It's _your_ fault after all." He says, before quickly reassuring you that he's joking when you start to whimper again.

He tells you his name is Eren and you tell him yours. When he asks why the others were beating you, you grow embarrassed. You don't want to tell him but he saved you.

"I think it's because I'm small and weak. They tell me I'm pathetic and that I have girly hair."

"That's a stupid reason to hurt someone. I'm small and weak too right now. But I'm gonna get stronger 'cause..." he trails off. You want to know why but you don't ask.

"Anyway, don't listen to them. I think your hair's pretty. Armin, wasn't it?"

You blush and tell him yes. Nobody's ever told you something like that before.

He takes you to his house where his ma scolds him and immediately tends to his cuts and bruises. You explain in a wobbly voice that Eren was protecting you, and that you would take Eren's scolding for him. She holds you close and strokes your hair and you almost cry all over again. You haven't been held like this since your mother and father went beyond the walls and didn't come home. Grandfather doesn't hug you. He's always telling you to be strong and not to depend on others. You can't help it. You wrap your arms around Eren's ma tightly and thank her. She asks for what and you tell her for Eren.

You see Eren every day now. He comes to your house way too early every morning when you still want to sleep and drags you out into the street to play. Some days you run so fast and laugh so often that you lose your breath. But whenever you slow down or can't move anymore, Eren stops and comes back. He always comes back for you.

There are some days when your grandfather catches you running with Eren in the street and scolds you for disturbing the neighbours. You don't think he likes Eren much but he doesn't say anything about it. You know for sure Eren doesn't like Grandfather by the way he scowls at him but he's never told you that. He know it's just you and Grandfather but he never asks where your parents are and you're grateful.

Sometimes you go and see the soliders in the Garrison. There always one soldier and his friends that tease Eren. Hannes his name is. That's how you find out that Eren wants to join the Scouting Legion, the soldiers that go beyond the walls and often don't come back. He seems embarrassed when Hannes tells you but you don't say anything. Neither does Eren.

The older boys still find you and hurt you and Eren's always there to hurt them back. He gets bigger and stronger and better at fighting but so do the others. It always ends the same. With both of you beaten and bloody. You get better at not crying but you still want to. Eren cries sometimes. Mostly because he's angry. Those are the worst days.

Then are the days you sit by the lake and watch the water. Or you both lie on your back and look at the sky, pointing out the weird shapes of the clouds.

"I wonder what's beyond the sky." Eren murmurs.

You twist your head to look at him.

"And the walls...what do you think it's like out there?" he sounds hesitant, as though he's scared of what you'll say.

People don't talk about things like that. You've never understood why but you've learned not to question it. But you know what's out there. You've found books in your grandfather's study, notes that your parents wrote before they died. You've never told anyone. Never wanted to. Until now.

You imagine how excited Eren would be if you tell him, if you show him the pictures you've kept hidden from the world. How his eyes would look.

"Can you keep a secret, Eren?" you whisper.

Both of you run back to your house, breathless with excitement. You make sure Grandfather isn't home before you slip into his study. With Eren's help you drag the stacks of books out from under the desk and immediately open your favourite to the pages you like best.

"What is that?"

"It's the world we live on. See, the green is the land and the blue is the sea."

"The sea?"

"The sea is like the lake except bigger."

"How much bigger?"

"Hm...maybe a million times bigger?"

Eren's eyes widen and his jaw drops. You try not to giggle.

"B-but that's huge! How is there enough room for it?!"

You struggle to explain and Eren still can't grasp the enormity it of. You're not so sure you can imagine it yourself.

"You know what, Armin? We're just going to have to go out there and explore all of it."

"G-go out there?"

"I'm gonna join the Scouting Legion and go beyond the walls to kill all the titans. When they're all gone, we'll go together and see everything!"

That's when you shout that he can't join the Scouting Legion because he'll die and leave you alone _again_ and hide your face in your shaking hands. Eren waits quietly until you stop trembling and that's when you tell him about your parents. He listens and holds your hand and promises you that he won't ever die or leave you on your own. He doesn't say he won't join the Scouting Legion though. You know he hasn't changed his mind but you don't talk about it again.

You spend weeks pouring over the books in your grandfather's study, learning more about the sea and the stars. After several weeks, Eren informs you with great embarrassment that he can't read very well. You offer to teach him but he tells you he'd rather hear you read.

"Your voice is much nicer than mine anyway. I'll just listen and look at the pictures."

You blush and remember when he told you your hair was pretty. You try to forget about it and move on to the books about animals. Some of the creatures you describe baffle Eren.

"No way is that a real animal. Its arms are longer than its legs."

"Oh, so orangutans are fake but the flying horse is real."

" _That_ ," Eren jabbed his finger at the drawing of the ape. "is just freaky. Monkeys are kind of scary."

"I thought you weren't afraid of anything."

"I'm not! They're just weird looking, that's all," he huffed. "And I know horses are real, so why shouldn't flying ones be real?"

You hate the days when Eren's father takes him on errands. You spend the day waiting at home for them to return before spotting them in the street and running out to shyly greet them. Sometimes it's only a few hours, other times it's a bit longer.

After a very long and boring Eren-less day,Grandfather forces you to go to bed even though Eren and his father haven't came home yet. You worry as you slip under the thin sheets and lay your head upon your pillow. It's unusual for them not to be home by dinner. Perhaps they underestimated how long the trip would take and were traveling home now. You console yourself with the thought that you'll definitely see Eren tomorrow and fall asleep, dreaming of the stars.

When you wake you expect to see Eren outside your window. The disappointment you feel when he's not there is crippling.

You take it upon yourself to go to Eren's house directly. Maybe he returned so late that he's still sleeping. It would be just like Eren. You could picture him lying spread-eagled on his front, drooling on his pillow as he had done so often on the floor of your grandfather's study. You could never bring yourself to wake him.

However, when you reach Eren's house and Eren's ma lets you in, you discover that Eren is very much awake.

He's shovelling food in his mouth at an alarming rate, babbling furiously about the Scouting Legion between bites. A girl with dark hair that Armin's never seen before is seated next to Eren and watching his every movement with an unreadable expression.

"Ahrfmin!" Eren blurts through a mouthful of bread as he looks up.

At Eren's voice, the girl turns her head sharply to look at you. You freeze in place. Who _is_ she?

Eren's ma introduces her as Mikasa, and that she'll be living with the Jaegers from now on. Nobody says why and you can't help feeling apprehensive. The feeling only grows when you notice Eren's scarf around Mikasa's neck. You're bursting to ask questions but you don't think you'll get any answers. You wonder if you can pry some information out of Eren when you go out to play but when Mikasa follows you decide to keep your mouth shut.

Mikasa doesn't speak much. Not in front of you anyway. Everyday the three of you go out into the streets like you and Eren always do. The only difference now is that Eren now has two shadows following him. It makes you uncomfortable. You can sense the bond between Eren and the girl and it bothers you. It's obvious that something transpired that you have no part in and it hurts that Eren doesn't tell you about it.

The hurt increases when one day Eren suggests going to Armin's house. You know what he's implying and it makes your heart ache. How could he even think to let someone else in on their secret? Those books are private, something special that you and Eren share. You don't want to show them to Mikasa, to the girl who never looks twice at you but always searches out Eren's gaze.

You open your mouth to give them some excuse but unpleasantly familiar voices call out that immediately freeze you in place.

"Hey, look boys! I haven't seen those pathetic little runts in a while."

"Oh, they have a _girl_ with them. Come hang out with us, baby, you're too pretty to waste on brats like them."

You automatically grab the back of Eren's shirt as he starts towards the pack of boys at the corner with a ferocious scowl on his face.

"Leave it, Eren." You say as you hold him back. You may be annoyed with Eren but you still feel responsible for keeping him from engaging in as many fights as possible.

"Who asked you, blondie? You don't even fight back, it's hardly worth the bother." one sneers. "Makes me sick to look at you. No wonder your grandpa never spends any time with you."

"I wonder if that's what happened to your parents, eh? Maybe they got bored of you and abandoned you to go and die outside the walls."

Your hand curls tighter into Eren's shirt and shakes as you try to block out their words. They only say mean things because they don't have anything else to say. They're stupid. They don't know know _anything_.

"Did ya hear that, you wimp? Not even your own parents gave a shit about you. They'd have rather been shoved down a titan's throat than stick around to -"

You never find out what that particularly ape-like boy was going say.

You watch in shock as Mikasa sinks her fist into his stomach before hurling his body against the wall. The others are too stunned to respond in time as she brings them to their knees with swift kicks and powerful punches. You can't believe that such a tiny body with a pretty face is capable of such horrific violence. Eren watches in awe, as though if he's committing Mikasa's moves to memory for future reference.

The group crawls away, blubberingly in terror as Mikasa stares them down coldly. When they're gone, she turns around towards you and Eren. Prying your trembling fingers from Eren's shirt, she holds your hand gently and looks at you.

"Me too." Mikasa murmurs.

Immediately you understand and almost hate yourself for not realising sooner. You know Mikasa feels the same guilt for not recognising a fellow orphan as she bows her head. You give her hand a squeeze and resolve to tell her too about the outside world.

When you and Eren show her the pictures and tell her what they mean, she doesn't show as much excitement as Eren had. But her eyes widen and she asks you questions about the deserts and the mountains and everything else until you grow exhausted but realise that she is just as interested in the world beyond the walls as you and Eren are.

Mikasa's almost always with you and Eren now. You're grateful because she ensures that the older boys don't hurt you when she's around and you're surprised when you find that you actually enjoy her company. She gradually becomes more open with both of you and you think you like her almost as much as Eren. Well, maybe not _that_ much. You try not to grudge the fact that she probably spends more time with Eren than you do and that he introduces her as his sister to Hannes and the other soliders.

But there are days when it's just you and Eren again. When Mikasa and Eren's ma spend the day together, just the two of them. Neither you or Eren have any clue what they get up to, but you don't ask because you're both pretty sure that for Mikasa it's private.

It's one of the days that Eren does something strange. After cartwheeling down the hill by the lake and lying side by side on the bank, he sits up, leans over and kisses you. It's so quick and light on your mouth that you can almost convince yourself it didn't happen.

"E-Eren!" you splutter as you push him away and sit up, feeling your face grow warm.

"Did I do not do that right?"

"That's not it! You can't do things like that."

"Why not?" Eren looks both annoyed and a little embarrassed as he crosses his arms defensively. "You're supposed to kiss the people you love, aren't you?"

You try to ignore the hard thump of your heart when he says that.

"Not like that!"

"That's how my ma and pops do it."

"That's because they're married."

"Then we'll get married."

"E-Eren!"

"We'll need to do it today though because I'm gonna want to kiss you again soon."

You cover your red face and take deep breaths. This is so embarrassing. But you can't pretend that you never wanted Eren to say those things. You know that there's something different about the way you like ( _love_ ) Eren than you do Grandfather and Mikasa. You've never mentioned it though, too scared of what Eren might say. You can't fully believe what he's saying right now. Eren doesn't always understand the differences between certain things.

"Armin, how do people get married?"

"Uh," you peer out from between your fingers at Eren's eager expression. Always such an open book. Your lower your hands with a sigh. "Eren, c-could you tell me how you love me?"

"How I love you?"

"As in what way you love me. I mean, you love your mum and Mikasa don't you?"

"Well, yeah. They're family."

"Then would you kiss Mikasa the way you just kissed me?"

Eren pulls a face.

""Gross, no she's like my sister."

You try not to feel too pleased at that.

"So...try to c-compare the way you love both of us."

Eren frowns, opens his mouth as though to say something then shuts it again. You watch him grow increasingly frustrated as he tries to think of what to say.

_I knew it. He can't explain the difference because there isn't one._

You bury your face in your hands again and try to will away the heartache. Hands that are rougher than yours pry them away from your face and hold them.

"Sorry, Armin, it's hard to explain but lemme try, okay?"

You nod without speaking, too afraid to say anything.

Eren huffs and puffs for another minute or two before he speaks.

"It's kind of like... well, when I think of Ma and Mikasa and Pops and how much I love them my heart goes all slow and I feel calm and warm, you know? Sometimes it's like that with you too but other times when I think about you my heart starts going really fast and I feel warm but like... uncomfortable warm? And I think about you a lot. I think about how nice you smell and how soft and pretty your hair is and it just makes my head go fuzzy. It's kind of scary how it feels but I like it and was sorta hoping you'd... be like that too. About me."

Eren's blushing and you're too stunned and happy and embarrassed to say anything.

"I-I know I'm not very clean or smart and I shout and fight a lot but I would be such a good husband, Armin. I -"

"Eren, stop!" You can't bear it anymore and press your hands over his mouth. His emerald coloured eyes widen. "We can't get married right now. We're too young and your parents won't like it."

You press your hands tighter to Eren's mouth, muffling his "I don't care" and giving him your trademark _I wasn't finished talking_ look.

"Maybe one day. Until then you c-can still k-kiss me if you want to but it has to be a secret, okay?"

You can read the _why?_ in his eyes so you release him and lower your hands.

"I don't think other people would like it. I know you don't care," you say as Eren opens his mouth to protest again. "But I'd rather not put up with the trouble it might cause, okay?"

Eren's silent for a few moments before he cocks his head to the side and scrutinises you with those wide eyes.

"So... does that mean you love me too?"

"O-of course I do, you idiot." You blush as he grins at you before leaning forward and pecking you on the cheek.

At first you don't think anything has changed. Neither of you breathe a word to Mikasa about what happened between you and she doesn't guess. You both behave as usual, running down the streets with Mikasa, looking at the books in your grandfather's study and whispering about the outside world. But then you feel Eren's fingertips brush the back of your hand when Mikasa's not looking. You try not to look too much at each other when you play at Eren's house in case his parents suspect. It isn't until the days you spend without Mikasa that Eren plays with your hair and kisses you softly when no one else is around. He's much gentler with you than you thought he could be and you're too embarrassed to tell him how much you like it when you hold hands as you lay under the sky. You don't think you've ever been happier.

But one day Eren forgets that it's a secret and kisses you when Mikasa's there. You both freeze as her eyes widen and her mouth opens slightly. You unwillingly remember how she threw that boy against a wall and are suddenly terrified of her reaction. What feels like hours pass before she says anything.

"You could've told me," she mutters. "It's not like I'd tell anyone."

You're both so relieved that you pull her into a hug which she reluctantly accepts. You remind Eren not to do things like that too much when Mikasa's around so that she's not uncomfortable but he still tends to forget. You don't think Mikasa really minds at all though.

After that Mikasa spends hours teaching you how to chain flowers together. Both you and Eren are surprised that she would be interested in such a pointless task until she tells you that her mother taught her how to do it. You graciously accept her neatly weaved jewelery after that.

As she places a daisy-chain crown upon your head, Eren tells you you look like a prince and you try not to feel too embarrassed. You pluck a flower from the ground and tuck it behind his ear.

"Am I pretty?

He asks with such genuine curiousity that you laugh, tell him that he's the prettiest boy you've ever seen and kiss the tip of his nose. He looks very pleased with himself and Mikasa rolls her eyes.

You look at the two people you love most in the world and wonder how you could have been so lucky to have met them. You wish that you could always have days like this, just the three of you under the blue sky by the lake. One day you'll see the ocean together, you're sure of it.

It isn't until late that afternoon that you discover you will never have days like this again. This is the last time you'll sit making flower chains on the grass with your best friends.

Today is the day the titans break through.

**Author's Note:**

> i was gonna do the entirety of the manga but this style of writing is a pain in the butt, it's 3am and i'm too tired to go on
> 
> idk when i'll get around to writing the proper fic (if i do and it sure as hell won't be written in this style) but in the meantime just think of this as a really long prologue or something


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